I am Gen X, and while I’m sure many things could and have been written about my generation, this is my story.
My generation was one of “damn the man”; of being angry at our baby boomer parents for screwing up the world with their wars, their capitalism and their environmental rape. We took up the hippie mantle and turned it into grunge activism, we bought t-shirts from The Body Shop to raise funds for tigers, we banned CFCs because they put holes in our ozone. We protested our disenfranchisement by embracing alternative lifestyles, alternative music, leftist politics and fringe religion (anyone remember The Craft?).
We were also a generation who experienced huge feelings of ethical powerlessness, it felt like we were the only ones with our eyes open, seeing changes that needed to be be made and not having a loud enough voice to convince those in power to do something about it (except for the Berlin Wall… that shit fell down on our watch, proud to say) Which led to another Gen X phenomenon – burnout turning into apathy, leading to our generational motto – “Life’s short and then you die, f#@k the world, let’s go get high.”
We embraced technology, but were distrustful of moving too fast, seeing it as an extension of the previous generation’s obsession with “bigger better faster more.” (Personally, I’m still keeping an eye out for the birth of Skynet.)
The world now belongs to the Gen Y / millennials and even the Gen Z. In a few short years, the work force will burgeon with kids who weren’t even born yet while I partied with a bottle of Baileys and my tits out on New Years 1999 (I never claimed to be a saint!).
These are people who were birthed into a world of apps and gadgets; the tech my generation developed and used is now either obsolete (RIP DOS) or running in the background, being taken for granted. My friends’ toddlers either own an ipad or at least know how to use one, and I can’t even figure out how Snapchat works.
The passing of time is a funny thing. Most of the musical influences of my formative years have long since disbanded, their cds placed in bargain bins. Kids listen to the music I listened to back in the day and call it “vintage” or “classic”. Movies that defined and impacted me haven’t seen air time in years. Tom Hanks looks really old.
Whenever I realise events that I think happened only yesterday actually happened 15 years ago, I stop to wonder if the things I do today are going to stick with me 15 years from now. When I struggle to accept new technology, or embrace things that are uncomfortable for me but have become the norm for my society, I feel old and out of touch. And I wonder if that’s the same way my mother felt when I protested the Bobby socks rock’n’roll she played on the radio for being “lame”. Did she see me roll my eyes at her old movies, or was she reliving the time she saw it in the cinema as if it were only yesterday?
I feel isolated and marginalised more and more. Most of my Gen X friends have moved on to other stages of their lives; spouses, kids, mortgages, careers. They’re not living with their heads in the past and wishing for the good old days. Meanwhile, I’m over here mourning the loss of my youth. And this nostalgia suits my melancholic nature, but it also holds me back and makes me sad and ineffective in so many ways. I’m tired of trying to play catch up. I’m tired of trying to recreate my best experiences. It’s both emotionally exhausting and unattainable.
I need to learn to let go of what was and what could have been, and focus on what the present has to offer. I want to engage in life more, and stay open to growth and new experiences. Time moves on, and that’s not always a bad thing. Some things stay the same, but a lot of stuff changes. We just have to try to pass our experiences and our knowledge on as best we can, and not be too quick to close off any chapters in our own story.
Write a sequel! The universe is always expanding to include new and shiny things!
Cadence Poetica 