Only through 
Ghostly echoes
Of old posts and emails
Can I point to any given
Moment and say:
This…
This was the beginning 
Of our end;

Only now that the smoke
Of my affection
Has cleared
Can I see the place
Where my last,
Desperate attempt
To keep loving you
Died.

When I was in it,
I thought I’d hang on
Until The End of the World;
But I guess
The apocalypse
Came and went 
While I was looking
The other way. 

Now I’m adrift with
Memories sudden
And unbidden:
Your smile, your laugh 
Your gesticulation –
Scattered ashes;
A corpse is required for a resurrection 
You didn’t even leave me a grave
To mourn beside.