My mouth tastes like cigarettes
So does yours, and it’s great;
Your moustache tickles my face,
And when you ask if I’m your girl
I blush, cos it tickles my feelings.
I like the way your fingers move
Against my belly when you’re in
A playful mood, and I like
That wicked look in your eyes –
The one that turns my legs to jelly,
The one that says:
Come here,
I wanna do bad things with you…

I know every expression you own
Studied them like textbooks
Hoping they would lead
Like roadmaps to your soul.
I know some of your nuance
Your light and your shade
But it still doesn’t bring me
Any closer.

You say, we’re friends and lovers
But I don’t know if you’re my friend
You’re more like the Joker
And I’m Harley Quinn
We met each other at opposite ends
Of the spectrum…
I was looking for love
I was ready to fall again
And you –
You were looking for a distraction
A port to sink your anchor in.

I knew from the start
Your heart was not a prize easily won,
And if I messed up, fell in love,
The chances were slim to none
Of you reciprocating.
You’ve got your guards up,
And your walls, the only
Parts open still raw,
And still belong to the one
Responsible for your breaking.

But…

My Netflix queue is full of shows
We watch under blankets
Tangled together,
You give me whole-body laughs
When we’re in the kitchen making dinner.
You call me baby and beautiful
And ask how my day’s been;
The line between friend
And lover get blurred
And we refuse to admit it.

And when you sleep in my bed –
Not once, or twice, but
Three nights this week –
I can’t help but wonder
Where this is leading.
I’m fine with the slow train
If we eventually get there
I just can’t afford to invest in a lie…
Not again, not this time.

But my selfish heart makes me wait,
Unable to decide
If I should ask you to go…
Watching this bubble of heartbreak grow
Ready to burst at any moment.
And there’s a masochist in me
That lives for tortured romance
I’m not even sure I’d be able to love
Without tragedy…

I want to let you stay
Let you touch and tease
Let you play those games
You don’t even know you’re playing;
It’s not entirely your fault
That loving you
Is like licking a battery.